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You'd probably never know this woman's had a debilitating disease since birth.

Cassandra Trimnell was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia in 1987 when she was just a baby.

She inherited the gene that causes this disease from both of her parents, meaning she has sickle cell type SS.This means she can experience the worst symptoms — including fatigue, extreme joint pain, anemia, and infections — at a higher rate.  

She's not the only one with sickle cell in her family either. Her younger sister Joanne was also born with it, and two of her other siblings have the trait, which means they don't have the disease but can pass it along to their children.

While she never had that shocking moment of hearing her diagnosis for the first time, she always knew she was different.

Cassandra as a child. Photo via Cassandra Trimnell.

When she started school, she had to constantly drink water and stay inside during recess when it was too hot or too cold to avoid pain episodes. Kids would occasionally ask her if she was contagious. It all made her feel incredibly isolated.

She was always a lot smaller and skinnier than the other kids at school, which meant that others often treated her like she was more fragile.

As a kid she also regularly felt sick and was in the hospital on a monthly basis. This often affected what she desperately wanted to do. For example, she was in a choir that was going on tour for which she had been planning and practicing for months. However, on the day they were supposed to leave, Trimnell was in the hospital.

Cassandra (left) with her sister Joanna. Photo via Cassandra Trimnell.

However, her mom was wonderful about helping her cope with the disease, and most importantly, she didn't treat her like she was going to break.

"You’re not like everybody else," Trimnell recalls her mom saying. "You need to look out for yourself. Look out for your health."

One aspect of sickle cell anemia that makes it such a difficult disease is that its symptoms aren't always visible to others.

"It’s like you’re fighting these invisible demons that nobody sees," Trimnell says. "Some of my earliest childhood memories are being hunched over in excruciating pain thinking I was going to die," she says.

This lack of visible "proof" that sickle cell disease is debilitating is one of the more frustrating aspects of living with it. You might see someone with sickle cell going through a pain crisis, but from the outside it just looks like they're playing a game on their phone. That's actually a coping method.

"We’re on our phones playing games because we’re distracting ourselves from the pain," Trimnell says.

Cassandra in the hospital with her husband. Photo via Cassandra Trimnell.

While it is the most common genetic condition around the world, it's rarer in the United States, which makes it even less visible.

And the current lack of understanding about symptoms and treatment among the general publiccan go from irritating to downright scary when someone with the disease goes to the hospital. Sometimes emergency room doctors don't believe sickle cell patients are in as much pain as they are because they seem to be handling it OK, which in turn affects their care.

"If doctors don’t think your pain is serious, then you won’t get treated seriously," Trimnell explains.

This is why Trimnell is now committed to raising sickle cell awareness.

Trimnell and members of Sickle Cell 101 at the 2017 Health and Resource Expo at Lincoln Elementary. Photo via Cassandra Trimnell.

She launched her nonprofit, Sickle Cell 101, in 2013. The idea came from a college biology course and an Instagram account.

When her biology class got around to talking about blood disorders like sickle cell, she was shocked by how unfamiliar her classmates were with it.

So shedecided to get creativeto give people a better understanding of the disease.

She began posting a number of facts on Instagram and received an overwhelming positive response.

#SickleCell red blood cells can squeeze through most blood vessels! #SickleCellEducation

A post shared by Sickle Cell 101 (@sicklecell101) on

Just like that, she was on the path to raising awareness full time. And today, her nonprofit specializes in educating the sickle cell community as well as the general public on various aspects of the disease.

The goal is to help people with the disease be treated with more mindfulness, especially if they're children, which is how Trimnell should've been treated when she was younger.

Trimnell knows she's not like everyone else, but now she realizes it's better to talk openly about her disease rather than hide it.

Cassandra (left) with her sister Joanne. Photo via Cassandra Trimnell.

When she was little, she didn't mention it to friends because she didn't want to be pitied or treated like a patient. Today, she's constantly sharing the challenges sickle cell patients face so that kids growing up with the disease remember they're not alone.

She sends the same message to parents who've recently found out their child has sickle cell anemia.

"People have sickle cell all over the world. You won’t lead a normal life, but it’s not a death sentence."

The best way to live with sickle cell disease is to stay healthy, positive, and turn to the support of groups like Sickle Cell 101 and Sickle Cell Warriors.

For those who don't have the disease, the best way to support those who do is to read up on it.  The more people who understand it, the less isolated those living with it will feel.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a picture so incredibly goofy it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. Unplanned triplets 

@murdockmultiples The first of many family reactions to our spontaneous triplet news! Telling my parents we were expecting spontaneous triplets 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻 And yes my dad didn’t understand that “Baby B” meant twins at first 😂 #spontaneoustriplets #tripletreaction #triplets #murdockmultiples #murdocktriplets #surprisetriplets ♬ original sound - Murdock Multiples

Pregnancy reveals are always fun to watch, but this one is three times as exciting. In this viral TikTok clip, these new grandparents get exciting news when their adult daughter tells them she is pregnant with twins. But wait–there’s more. In what’s probably the shock of their lives, she then reveals that, on second glance, there’s a third baby in there. As in, spontaneous triplets. Three babies. Unplanned. Their reaction is both adorable and totally real: “I don’t even KNOW people with triplets!” Congrats, grandpa–you’re the people, now!

2. Little moments of morning joy

This week, the All In crew is polling people on the streets of New York City about small, everyday things in the morning that bring people joy, from gorgeous greenery to the early morning sun catching the light in just the right way. Just listening to these is making us feel super relaxed.

3. This teacher doing the absolute most for Pride Month

@joey_.veres Mr. Folnsbee the ally that you are @nadipowers @lanie @Fatty ♬ suono originale - 𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏𝙇𝙔

Meet Mr. Folnsbee, a high school teacher from Horseheads, New York who’s taking Pride Month to the next level. In support of Pride Month (and, presumably, the LGBTQIA+ students at his high school), Folnsbee lets students bedazzle his head with rainbow gemstones—so much so that it looks like a giant, glittering Pride flag. Talk about setting a good example for the next generation!

4. The "goodnight" trend 

@sydsacks I’ve been cracking up at this trend so I made Peter call his besties to say goodnight 🤪 #goodnight #besties ♬ original sound - syd

Calling a friend and wishing them goodnight is a sweet gesture, right? What if the person you were calling was someone you haven’t spoken to in years, or someone with whom you’re just a casual acquaintance? That’s what people are doing in this new TikTok “prank,” and the results are so funny they’ll have you crying. They’re also so sweet, as the responses range from being confused but polite, to wanting to have a long conversation, to being genuinely concerned for the caller’s mental health. It might be a “prank,” but it definitely shows how much we all truly need human connection.

5. Spontaneous street singing

This could only happen in New York City. Instagram users @sabrinakvictor and @thecoryterrell — who were strangers before this video — shared a moment recently on a chance meeting in NYC when the two started singing the exact same song. Watch as the two of them vibe out to "Impossible" by James Arthur and try not to smile or sing along as you watch them (it's actually impossible). The joy here is actually contagious—and the harmonies are on point.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Science

Frugal people share 30 things they stopped buying completely to save money

There's so much we buy and use simply out of habit.

Image via Canva

Frugal people open up about how they save money.

Saving money is never a bad thing. And for those looking for economical solutions for how to cut back on spending, a smart place to start is taking an inventory of your spending habits and what you buy.

In an online forum of frugal people, member TS1664 posed the question to fellow savvy financial members: "What’s something you stopped buying completely and don’t miss at all?"

They continued, "For me it’s paper towels. Switched to rags and microfiber cloths a year ago and haven’t looked back. I used to go through a roll a week without thinking, now I just toss the cloths in with regular laundry. Saves money and space."

And they ended the post with some more insight. "It made me realize how many things I was buying out of habit, not need. What things others have cut out completely that turned out to be no big deal or even better without. Could use some inspiration!"

The callout garnered some excellent real-life advice from frugal people. These are 30 things that thrifty people shared they stopped buying completely that helped save them money.

save money, saving money, money habits, money advice, savingMake It Rain Money GIF by A Little Late With Lilly SinghGiphy

"Dryer sheets." Super-Examination594

"Starbucks - bought an espresso machine, took some time to learn how to dial it in and pull a proper shot. It’s been 4+ Years and don’t miss it one bit." Fox_137

"Makeup! Used to wear it every day and buy tons of it to try new products and such. Now I only wear it for special occasions. It works great — even just a little bit of makeup really pops when you hardly ever wear any." VerschwendeMeineZeit

"Soda. Too expensive now. Pre-pandemic, sometimes Kroger would have a sale (4) 12-packs for $10." NotJimIrsay

"Cigarettes 😊." rickety_picket

bottled water, bottled waters, water, plastic water bottle, water martial arts water GIFGiphy

"Bottled water." WorriedPermission872

"Most fast food but especially McDonald's and bk. When I paid $20 for two adults' meals, it stopped making sense, and I'll cook better burgers and better sides fries at home for less." diegothengineer

"Cable tv subscription." nombreusuario

"Pizza delivery service. Frozen meals are just as unhealthy, but much cheaper." The_Keri2

"We started our pizza making journey by buying dough (under $2) at trader joe's. it really lowered the barrier to entry. once we kind of perfected the bake etc, we started playing with dough recipes until we found one we loved. it sounds painful but it was a good learning experience and fun to do together." suddenlymary

candles, candle, scented candle, buying candles, glass candlechristmas sniffs GIF by TargetGiphy

"I stopped buying scented candles. I used to grab them all the time on impulse, but they’re expensive, don’t last that long, and honestly gave me headaches half the time. Now I just open a window or boil some citrus peels with cloves if I want the place to smell nice." HollisWhitten

"Cigarettes and nicotine pouches! Been smoke free since august 2021 and pouch free since July 2024 :)." HueLord3000

"Amazon Prime. We stopped paying for the privilege of shopping and making money for Bozo. Now, we just put stuff in the cart until there is enough for free shipping. I don’t miss Prime, I never found anything on Prime video I wanted to watch once that wasn’t a rental. We live in a rural village, so online is cheaper than driving 25 to 50 miles to a store." cwsjr2323

lottery, lotto, lottery ticket, scratch off, scratch offsAnimation Scratch Off GIFGiphy

"Lottery tickets." evissamnoisis

"Hair color. I’ve embraced the gray!" phishinfordory

"I’ll add sandwich bread. I started making my own. It costs just over $1 for me to make a small loaf that’s just enough for the 2 of us for a week. Plus no additives or preservatives." BeerWench13TheOrig

"Books. I go to the library." Significant-Emu1855

library, library card, library book, books, readingDog Glasses GIF by County of Los AngelesGiphy

"Broth. Have an ongoing 'broth bag' going in the freezer. Once I run out of frozen broth cubes, I make another round." Colorfulplaid123

"New clothes from shops! I'm now a charity shop and Vinted gal, my clothes are so much better quality and I spend less." CorinaPhoto

"Bidet toilet seat is cheap, easy to install, much easier and faster to use, and most importantly will keep you far cleaner while not wasting any toilet paper." hopopo

"Menstrual products. Bought a menstrual cup back in 2016 and have not looked back." simply-misc

"Chip clips. I buy cheap old wooden clothespins! Works great and if they break, no biggie. It’s $2 for 24. I also use clear shower caps for dishes I have no lids for or it’s something that can’t have a lid, like deviled eggs. I use the shower caps. Much cheaper than those bowl covers they sell 8-12 in a pack for $1.25. Those bowl covers are kind of pricey and you get 1 large and 2 mediums and a bunch of tiny ones!!" Florida1974

alcohol, quit alcohol, drinks, pour out, drinkingPour One Out Malt Liquor GIFGiphy

"Alcohol." Fit_Artichoke_523

"Baked beans in the can, I literally keep everything on hand to make it so it was an excess purchase. Instant rice packs, I make regular rice, 20 minutes is not that long 😆 We keep getting gifted napkins but we don’t purchase them." Miss_Pouncealot

"Soap in a pump bottle. Switched to bars (Costco). So much value, less trash and plastic, and a better experience. Why did we invent pump bottle soap??" thebiglebowskiisfine



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Culture

Non-Americans share 15 things that left them utterly bewildered when they visited America

The way we just scrape our food into the sink after meals.

Derek Wolfgram/Flickr & Canva Photos

People are sharing the weirdest things that are considered normal in America.

For better or worse, it's easy for all of us to find ourselves in a bubble. We're surrounded by a certain way of thinking, a certain lifestyle, and a certain perspective on cultural norms. We can get caught up in thinking that people outside of our little bubble are weird, or different, and that the strange ways they might do things are flat out wrong or bizarre. This is especially common in the United States. The world, in a lot of ways, is America-centric. Most anywhere we go, people will speak English, accept our currency, and know who Taylor Swift is.

But the truth is that there's a big wide world out there, full of vastly different cultures and ways of life! And have we ever stopped to think... maybe we're the weird ones?

A recent thread on Reddit posed the question: "What is something Americans consider normal, but people from other countries find it disturbing?

Here are the best responses on things that are normal in the U.S. but considered strange, shocking, horrifying, or just plain weird elsewhere.

1. Portion sizes

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrantsAmerican portion sizes are colossal. Photo by mostafa rzq on Unsplash

"The portion thing always makes me laugh now since I learned Europeans apparently dont do leftovers from restaurants. I get that if you're used to a restaurant portion being something you always eat all of in one sitting our portions probably seem ridiculous. ... As a big dude who eats a ton just to live, I'm glad our portions are what they are," one user wrote.

2. Garbage disposals in kitchen sinks

"Yeah, it’s wild how normal they seem here, but elsewhere they’re seen as loud, dangerous, or just plain weird," someone commented.

"They also seem to think we dump large amounts of food waste down them when they’re just meant for small scraps," a user added.

Garbage disposals, indeed, are not often found outside of the United States. In fact, they're outright banned in many European countries. The thinking is that encouraging people to scrape leftover food down the drain places additional stress on the sewage system and harms the environment.

3. Prices don't include tax

Foreigners think it's weird when they come to America and a 99 cent item ends up costing $1.06. Differing sales tax across state lines is partly to blame, but users in the thread were convinced that's only an excuse:

"If the cash register knows the price, then the price sticker machine can be set with the same price. It's really that simple," someone wrote.

4. Gaps between restroom stall doors

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrantsAmerican public restrooms aren't very private. Photo by Austin on Unsplash

Visitors from Europe are used to public restroom stalls that are almost completely enclosed. In America, for some strange reason, we love leaving gigantic gaps between the edges of the door, the floor, and the ceiling. Why? There are a few reasons: It's easier to mop under the stalls this way, and less privacy means it's harder for folks to get away with doing sketchy things in the stalls. But either way, a lot of people don't like it.

"I once cried during a layover in the US because I needed to empty my menstrual cup after 12+ hours of traveling, and you could literally just see into every stall. Plus I need to squat down to do it, and the doors ended at my knees. A random lady saw me panicking and when I said the stalls weren't private enough, she said "awwwwe, are you European?"

5. So. many. commercials.

"I had a British friend ask why were there so many commercials during an episode of Family Guy," one user wrote.

"And the content of those commercials. Apparently it's only American doctors who need their patients to ask about some amazing new medication that has crazy side effects," another added.

6. We get healthcare through our jobs

It always struck me as funny that a country that supposedly loves entrepreneurs and small business owners makes it so incredibly dangerous to leave your job for any reason. It's even more shocking to people from, well, almost any other developed country.

"This job pays like shit and I hate it, but if I quit my essential medication won't be covered until I get hired somewhere else, so I can't risk it!" one user joked.

7. Worrying about the cost of the doctor

At least a quarter of adults regularly skip necessary medical care because they're worried about how much it costs. Visitors from abroad are utterly horrified by the thought of having to consider whether potentially life-saving procedures fit the budget.

8. Cashiers don't sit down

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrantsCashiers in America stand all shift long. Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

People who work the cash register generally sit down in most parts of the world, including Europe. It's more comfortable and ergonomic, and in fact there's something called Right to Sit that guarantees this benefit.

In America, cashiers are often forbidden from sitting down while working, which comes as a big surprise to foreigners.

9. HOAs

HOAs exist in some parts of the world, but they are particular intense in America. It can be a bucket of cold water for people who move here from abroad.

"A client of mine had a sick husband. He unfortunately passed away. She leaves her garbage cans out during this time and begins to get fined by the HOA everyday her cans are left out, and letters posted on her door," one user shared.

10. School children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrantsAmerica loves the Pledge of Allegiance. Photo by Townsend Walton on Unsplash

Some countries around the world have their own version of the Pledge of Allegiance. What's extremely rare is a democracy forcing children to recite their loyalty every morning and even face punishment if they refuse.

"Did a student exchange [in the US] when I was 17 and got detention on my first day for not saying it. I didn’t know it, but even if I did… It’s not my country! Tried so hard to politely explain that to the teacher and they wouldn’t have a bar of it," one commenter shared.

11. Our obsession with grass lawns

The love, nay, obsession, with lawns found in the America suburbs is not a global phenomenon. A lot of foreigners find it to be extremely strange, and a little disturbing. But there is a bright side:

"As a married, middle aged man with 3 kids, ill let everyone in on a little secret: Its the only time we get to ourselves... It also is really satisfying. But the actual reason behind why it became a thing is rooted in the classwar and racism like everything else in this country," one user wrote.

12. Declawing cats

Optional or cosmetic surgeries on pets are pretty unique to America, all things considered:

"Docking tails, and clipping ears, and dew claw removal on dogs, too! Our miniature pinscher has had all three done to her by her previous owner, and it's just so needlessly cruel. She didn't need any of those surgeries," someone wrote.

13. Wearing shoes in the house

Shoes in the house is not uniquely American, but it's more common here than most other places around the world.

"This is insane and nasty. The city I live in unfortunately has a lot of shit — and I don’t mean from dogs — on the ground. Wearing shoes in the house is disgusting," someone wrote.

Personally, I love wearing shoes in the house—otherwise I'd constantly be stubbing my toes!

14. Circumcision

Again, a few other places around the world perform circumcisions, usually for religious reasons, but America is unique in the way it has become the default choice for almost every boy regardless of religion or background. Europeans, in particular, find this practice extremely strange.

"So glad I didn’t do this to my son. My fiancée’s family gave me serious backlash for choosing not to because all of the boys on her side of the family are circumcised. I simply told them that I am not a barbarian and I don’t care what they think," one user wrote.

15. Sugar in weird places

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrantsAmerica loves extra sugar in savory foods. Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

A lot of food items on American shelves include tons of added sugar and high fructose corn syrup. You expect to see it in soda, candy, and desserts. But bread? Pasta sauce? Why is there so much sugar in everything?

Sugars are used regularly in America to enhance flavor and work as a preservative, whereas the practices aren't as common in many other countries.

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Culture

Philosophy expert shares the 'simple but profound rule' to tell if someone is a good or bad person

It comes down to a specific type of kindness.

via Canva/Photos and G.Meiners/Wikimedia Commons

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and a scene at a restaurant.

Have you ever met somebody new and wondered if they were a good person with a mischievous streak or a bad person who can turn on the charm and behave occasionally? Determining someone’s true moral character is important, especially if you start dating them or have a business relationship. It is crucial to get to the core of who they are and know whether they can be trusted.

Popular TikTok philosopher and Substack writer Juan de Medeiros recently shared a great way to determine whether someone is good or bad. His rubric for judging someone’s moral character comes from a quote commonly attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German poet, playwright, novelist, and intellectual known for works like Faust and The Sorrows of Young Werther.

How can you tell if someone is a good or a bad person?

“Here's a pretty good indicator that somebody is a bad person and vice versa, how you can spot a good one. And this goes back to a simple rule, a moral aphorism by Goethe in which he writes, ‘Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,’” de Medeiros shared in a TikTok video with over 45,000 views.

“Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

@julianphilosophy

Good vs. bad #good #bad #wisdom

De Medeiros then provided real-world ways to determine whether the person you have questions about is good or bad. “A bad person is unfriendly to strangers, to the elderly, to children, to service staff, to anybody they're not trying to impress,” he said. At the same time, the good person treats people equally, no matter what they can do for him. They’re good for goodness sake, not to get anything out of it.

“A good person carries grace within them and shares it freely with abundance. A good person treats other people as they would like to be treated as well. And it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter what your status is, they will treat you and see you as their equal,” de Medeiros said.


What is 'The Waiter Rule'?

Goethe’s quote echoes the common red/green flag test that many people have on dates. Sure, it's important if your date is courteous and treats you well on the date, but you really want to watch how they interact with the server. The rule is often called “The Waiter Rule,” outlined by William Swanson. Swanson, the former chairman and CEO of Raytheon Company, wrote in his book, 33 Unwritten Rules of Management, "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter—or to others—is not a nice person." Boxer Muhammad Ali is also known for saying something similar: "I don't trust anyone who's nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position."


Rudeness toward the waitstaff also indicates that the person isn’t very smart. It’s not wise to be rude to someone who is in charge of your meal for the night.

Conversely, a good person is kind to others without looking for anything in return because they want to spread joy and believe that others deserve respect. You are what you do, not what you think or believe, and when someone treats others with goodness, it's a clear indicator of the type of person they are.

In the end, we are all a mixed bag of behaviors and attitudes, and even the most perfect of us has a devil on their shoulder telling them that it’s okay to occasionally get into a bit of mischief. However, when it comes down to determining someone's core character, how they treat those who can do nothing for them says everything.

This article originally appeared in April.

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Fatherhood

Dad with postpartum depression took his baby on a walk. It started a mental health movement.

"Because fatherhood is better together."

Canva

A dad takes his child on a stroller ride.

Kalvin Bridgewater couldn't quite put his finger on why he felt so off after his newborn daughter arrived. Sure, he was exhausted—babies can cause that. His wife was suffering with crying jags and anxiety, which, as a society, we often pinpoint as postpartum depression. They sought help for her, but Kalvin's mental health continued to decline.

He shares on his website, "I didn't even notice how much I was changing myself. My health was declining and my weight went from 200 to 265 from stress eating—food became my only comfort from what I now know was postpartum depression."

The National Library of Medicine reports that postpartum depression in men can occur soon after a child is born. "It is frequently reported in mothers but can also occur in fathers. There are no established criteria for PPD in men, although it could present over the course of a year, with symptoms of irritability, restricted emotions, and depression."

Bridgewater shares that one day he took their baby for a walk in a stroller. He was joined by about four other dads who would also take their babies for walks together. They started calling themselves the Daddy Stroller Social Club. "This grew to 75 to 100 dads coming out to these events," he shares on a TikTok video that's chyron reads, "These dads turned stroller walks into a powerful support group."

We see the words "Because fatherhood is better together," as Bridgewater continues: "We just started bonding, socializing and creating a community for dads. If we're able to share the knowledge that we receive and get the extra tools. That wasn't passed down to us. To not just be a better father—be a better husband, somebody better in the community."

Daddy Stroller Social Club (DSSC), their website makes clear, "was born out of a need for community. The vision was inspired by Eve Akins, a Dallas doula and her community of young mothers that get together on the weekends and uplift each other."

The key for DSSC is not only to bond with one another and to be better fathers and partners, but also to spread the word about this rather common mental affliction. "We are committed to de-stigmatizing paternal postpartum depression through community-building, advocacy, outreach, and storytelling. By amplifying the voices of fathers and promoting early intervention, we aim to create a space where fathers and father-figures can access communal support, education, and the wellness services they need in order to be functioning caretakers of their family unit."

The TikTok and Instagram comments—of which there are many—are incredibly supportive. One person writes, "This movement is powerful and priceless."

On an Instagram reel where the DSSC writes "Propaganda we're not falling for:" they list, in part, "Boys will be boys. Toxic masculinity. Gender roles. Rest equals laziness." A commenter writes, "This is great that you all are dismantling the myths, men go through their own postpartum journey! A lot of my clients are males going through difficulty adjusting to this new phase of life. Let’s continue to normalize this."

And one of the most exciting parts? What began in Dallas/Ft. Worth has now spread to chapters around the country. They're called "strides," and they are rolling out quickly—from Atlanta to Los Angeles to Philly and more.

It's concrete proof that just taking that (literal) first step can make positive change, not just for one person, but for an entire community.

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Education & Information

People share 15 real ways they escaped living paycheck to paycheck

"Be willing to accept that you might not be entitled to the lifestyle you have."

Image via Canva

People reveal their financial strategies for no longer living paycheck to paycheck.

Living paycheck to paycheck is becoming the norm in the United States. According to the United States Interagency Council on Homelessness, more than half of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. It is a financial reality that has many looking for financial solutions and frugal living habits to get ahead.

On Reddit, member @_DontStayTheSame_ posed the question: "How in the hell do you escape living paycheck to paycheck?"

People who have figured out how to successfully avoid living paycheck to paycheck chimed in. These are 15 of the best financial tips and advice they offered.

save money, saving money, paycheck to paycheck, frugal living, financesMoney Invest GIF by Sara DietschyGiphy

"Take everything I have done pre 35 and do the exact opposite. Only use your credit cards for things you will be able to pay off quickly. If you are buying a car and thinking "That is close but I can do it" for the payment, find a cheaper car. Do what you can to live below your means. If you are a smoker, quit." —User Unknown

"Living below your means is key." —@Orual309

"Better advice would be to find ways to improve your income but live below your means while you do so you can save up enough to improve your situation long term. Too many people raise their lifestyle with their income without ever taking the time to set themselves up for long term financial stability. That’s how you get people making six figures but somehow still living payday to payday. Obviously if you only make enough to survive until your next pay there’s nothing you can do financially to fix that, it has to be some other kind of change enabling you to make more money like going to school or just applying for better jobs." —@Sparcrypt

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"I might get some hate for this but... Live with your parents or only rent a room. Yes rent is expensive as hell and it sucks but sometimes you gotta suck it up and just get roommates. Easier to live with roommates than paycheck to paycheck in my opinion." —User Unknown

"Be willing to go back on lifestyle to fix your financial picture. Be willing to accept that you might not be entitled to the lifestyle you have. People think overspending means fancy cars, vacations, and expensive properties, but it doesn’t. It can mean buying a boring commuter car and a house. The baby steps are the first thing:

  • $1000 emergency savings, and a budget. Look back through your transactions for months to see what you actually spend, don’t just guess at your categories.
  • all consumer debt paid off. You should never be carrying a credit card balance. That’s a financial emergency, so if you are, save only $1000 for an emergency fund and put all else toward that debt.
  • 3-6 months of expenses saved in a savings account or no-risk investment with immediate liquidity (this is $15,000 for me, for 3 months, for example.)
  • minimum retirement targets met, most importantly taking any employer matching
  • invest for other goals like property, children, etc., depending on your needs

Once you’re there, you can use whatever is left over after those savings strategies and your expenses as a discretionary fund. A lot of folks spend discretionary before they have the baby steps accomplished, and it keeps them in debt and living pay check to paycheck, or waiting for that next big cash infusion from something like refinancing their house. The key is discipline. It’s tough, it really is. Seeing the 5 figure deposits to my bank account and knowing that it’s already spoken for can be tough because it’s tempting to want to spend it on a nice car (I’m a car enthusiast) or some other hobby thing, but I know I can’t do that." —User Unknown

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"We are literally about to pay off two cars. Both payments total about $900 a month all together. I didn’t want two car payments at one time, but we both needed a more reliable car at the time. That’s not horrible for two car payments, but it’s going to free up $900 a month for us…. Which is amazing considering my wife is now stay-at-home with a baby. We have started cooking at home, avoid eating out at all costs, only drink home-brew coffee, use grocery points for cheaper gas. I’ve started taking my trash and recyclables to the dump myself, we have cut Live-TV and every streaming and subscription platform we don’t use at least once a day. We don’t, nor have we ever, lived paycheck to paycheck. It’s just nice to save money. The only thing we are splurging on now is a cleaning lady once every two weeks for $140." —@MockASonOfaShepherd

"For the TV and streaming, I do one service a month and my cell phone comes with Netflix as a perk. Each month I subscribe to one service for only one month, and watch everything I want on that service. When that ends I let it expire and don't renew. I switch to another one for the month and watch everything there. I get a new collection each month to binge and it doesn't cost me any extra unnecessary money." —User Unknown

"Also, learn to use Excel. Being able to visually see where your money goes, all at once, can make your spending make a lot more sense." —@valvilis

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"Just buy more money, it's not rocket calculus." —@faceeatingleopard

"This. Also don’t order out much. 1 fast food meal everyday of the week (depending on where you go) could have you spending an extra $100 a week that could’ve been spent at the grocery store instead. Learning to cook is cheaper than fast food easily." —User Unknown

"Meet people, work hard, get lucky. Marry someone who is financially reliable and life is half as expensive. Switch jobs every 3 years because your raises probably won't keep up with the market. Be mindful of your finances. Avoid credit card debt if you can." —@cavemanfitz

"Look into a career whose skill sets will always be in high demand. I pursued my Airframe & Powerplant Certificate. Now I can save and invest. It even made my income-earning ability Covid-proof. Yes, I got laid off a week and a half after starting a new job at a major airline. But 6 weeks later (thanks to my A&P), I got an even better-paying job as a Maintenance Technician at a 3M plant. I bought my first house in 2020. In 2022, I reapplied at that major airline and got hired as a contractor. I took a temporary, and minor, pay cut. Then I got hired direct 6 months later. I’m making a very good living and I’m able to travel the world. For the folks that say 'not everyone can do that'… I started this journey in 2016, making $12/hr at McDonald’s, and renting a room. So I’ve walked in the same shoes as many of the folks that say it’s impossible. No, I don’t have any kids. But I did graduate A&P school with a guy in his early 40’s with 3 kids. From day 1 of enrolling in A&P school up to this very day… I had to keep a strict budget." —User Unknown

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"I made a budget and update it every 3 months to see what it costs to run our family. My goal is to 'pay myself' each paycheck, which is considered savings. The budget generates two numbers. One for expenses plus luxuries, i.e. eating out, alcohol, hobbies, gym etc the other is my expenses without the luxuries in case I ever had to leave my job etc. By putting aside an amount each pay I've aimed and achieved saving 6 months worth of expenses without luxuries. Since doing that, I've then started to make additional payments to my superannuation account/ retirement fund that I can't touch until I retire. Since making the budget it's been an eye opener on where our money goes and how much we can save by cutting out stuff that isn't really worth it. It has also allowed my not so financially minded wife understand our position and gets her buy-in when we set targets for emergency savings or goals for buying stuff for the house or amounts for holidays. It's not full proof and we still have times where most of the pay goes out to expenses that can't be avoided like bills and rates that might all come in at once but its definitely made us feel more in control and enthusiastic about saving." —@CallSignVip3r

"You can't "save" your way out of poverty. Budgeting won't solve the problem. Those are just platitudes told to placate the masses. They empirically do not work, but the freak exceptions make good 'feel good' stories. Networking or advancement are the only ways out. Networking works best, advancement takes too long, and is far more probability-reliant. Beg everyone you've ever known for job opportunities. Be shameless." —@EmbarrassedVolume

"Rich parents, good health." —@Legitimate_Field_157

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